Relationship
Mingling with others to know them and to lead others to experience Jesus by association.
My Description of Relationship
Relationship is vitally important for the pastor. At a basic level, if the pastor has no relationship with anyone, he/she is the shepherd or pastor over none. The best depiction in Scripture that describes why relationship is vital to the pastor is found in the Shepherd imagery.
Jesus shares a powerful parable and story about a shepherd in John 10. The Shepherd enters through the door and calls to the sheep. Then Jesus describes how the sheep know his voice and that’s why they follow the Shepherd. It’s hard for sheep to follow someone whom they don’t know. The pastor must spend time with his flock so that they may recognize the Shepherds voice.
The picture we get of Jesus in the New Testament is a desire to be with all kinds of people sharing hope, encouragement, loving rebuke, and salvation in Himself. He had his 3 close disciples, the twelve, the seventy, the multitudes, sinners, Samaritans, Pharisees and Sadducees, the religious rulers, and the Gentiles. The pastor should interact with people from all kinds and various backgrounds.
Book I've Read Relationship
Meaningful Quotes from The Family
"Family life is too complex to understand in neat cause-and-effect terms. And conflict is so much a part of this system that it cannot be viewed simply as something that arises within and is then purged from the family. Rather, conflict continually feeds back into the system as a whole. It is, therefore, more realistic to think of conflict as a process to be managed rather than a situation to be resolved." (251)
There discussion on conflict in the context of intimate communication has taught me how to process through conflict in all my relationships. This discussion has also become part of how I counsel those who are getting ready for marriage. Conflict is not something to escape from or try to resolve instantly. It is more like a process that in my opinion has the potential to build stronger relationships.
“In their research, John Gottman and Joan DeClaire (2001) find that one spouse will offer a statement to the other as a bid for greater intimacy—for instance, “I feel like I don’t know you.” When one spouse reveals himself or herself in an intimate way and the other stands aloof, not responding to the invitation for deeper connection, the spouse who reached out will cease taking steps toward greater intimacy.” (244)
This insight has greatly helped me as I communicate with others. It helps me realize that nothing is small or should be diminished in communication. Emotions are tied to speech.
Five Styles of Conflict Management
1. Avoidance - low degree of both cooperation and assertiveness
2. Accommodation - high degree of cooperation and low degree of assertiveness
3. Competition - low degree of cooperation and high degree of assertiveness
4. Collaboration - high degree of cooperation and assertiveness
5. Compromise (when time doesn't permit to work out the collaborative effort) - involves negotiation, cooperation, and assertiveness
Atlanta North Picnic - Relationship Building
ANC Picnic
This was a very significant event. When the pandemic took place in 2020, our church was shut down and many had been isolated for months. After a long period of time and when things were starting to get better, we organized a fellowship meal. We had around 40-50 people attend and it was good to see and talk to each other.
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While I was at ANC, I wanted to make sure that I was involved in people's lives, mingling with them, and becoming more than just their pastor, but their friend. The first picture is myself, Pashal (my wife), and Providence (a young adult at ANC). We attended together with many others Praise's graduation.
Selected Pictures - Building Relationships
Building Young Adult Relationships
As I am at Athens GA SDA, Young Adult ministry is still a passion of mine. The following pictures are a group picture of young adults gathering together at Jamal's (Young Adult Leader) house. Many of these are students at UGA and some of them are non-Adventist.
Building Relationship in Evangelism
This was very recent. This picture was taken at the Evangelism Rally in September 2025. Here we have about 9 individuals from our church excited for Evangelism. As their pastor, I wanted them to see how I desire to be with them as we grow and learn tools for Evangelism. (There are two others who are missing, Tony and Shirley, and they are just as excited for Evangelism.)
Building Relationship - Friday Vespers
This was a Friday evening event where we invited the church to open the Sabbath with us. We had haystack and fellowshipped with one another. Scott (our head elder) then led us in a devotional thought while Jamal led us in music.
Building Relationship with ACF
This was one of the first ACF events we had since my arrival at the church in August 31st. This was an attempt to bring people together and get the club going. Sadly, it wasn't well attended by students. We had some young adults from our church but it was a good first step.
Building Relationships with Families
Children's Ministry Event
This was a children's ministry event that my wife organized. We gathered at Oconee Veterans Park and had a great turn out. One thing that my wife and I enjoy to do is gather people together, giving them space and opportunity to develop community.
Building Relationships with Families - Georgia Aquarium
Children's Ministry Event
We are at the Atlanta Aquarium. This took place in April 2025. We brought the children and any one who wanted to come to have fun learning about God's creation. We participated in the dolphin and seal lion show.
Additional Pictures - Relationship Building
Building Relationship - Running
Some of our members at Athens wanted to get together for a 4-5 mile run. This is afterwards.
Building Relationships - Potluck
We have potluck at Athens every 3rd Sabbath. We do this to promote fellowship and to get to know guests in our church.
Building Relationships - Baby Shower
We have also organized baby showers at our church. This is one of Darryl and Melanie Walker. Since this picture was taken, they have had their baby, Azariah, and are excited being new parents.